The Beginning - Miho - June [Part 4 of 7]
"I'm home."
As I opened the door, the aroma of miso drifted from the kitchen, calming down my irritation.
"Ah- welcome back, Sis."
Only for a brief moment, that is. The sight of my little sister lying around, reading a magazine in the living room just rubbed me the wrong way.
"Don't 'welcome back' me, Chiho. Aren't you supposed to be helping Mom?"
"Nah. I'm tired."
Chiho answered, while rolling around.
"You're in second grade, what's there to be tired of? C'mon, go help."
"Nah, I already helped out today."
"Of course you didn't. I'm getting angry, Chiho."
I pulled my little sister by the neck of her T-shirt.
"C- Can't breathe-- Stop it! Mo~m!"
"Now, now, what's with all the noise?"
Mom, who heard our voices, wiped her hands and came out of the kitchen.
"Mom, Sis's real angry--"
That instant, Chiho, who was just rooted onto the tatami mat, sprung up to her feet and coiled around Mom's waist. Seriously, this girl... Always the one to rope Mom to her side first.
"It's because you aren't helping with the chores, Chiho."
"Look, look. She's totally angry, Mom."
"Chiho!"
"Now, now, let's just stop right there. I don't need any help today. Just about wrapped up here."
C'mon, Mom... Why're you pampering Chiho so much? Wasn't it Chiho herself who proposed to help with the chores once a day?
"What's up with that face, Miho? Anyway, you better go take a shower soon. Oh yeah, you've got mail."
"Mail? For me?"
"From some kind of... association? Is it a fanclub or something?"
"No way, the Z-Kai documents are already here? Of course it's not a fanclub. Didn't I already tell you that it's a mail tutoring service? Where is it now?"
"Here."
Chiho passed me the magazine that she was reading earlier. Wait, no, it's not a magazine. It's a...
"A Z-Kai Pamphlet? Why'd you open it, Chiho?"
"Ehh~ Isn't it fine? It's not even a letter. And I was the one who took it from the mailbox."
"It's not fine at all, you idiot!"
I shouted and snatched the documents from her.
"Uwah, Sis is angry again--"
She cried out, life a fire being lit up spontaneously. There she goes again, thinking just crying will let her get away with it.
"Miho, don't yell at Chiho like that."
Mom glared at me while patting Chiho's head.
"Why not? Chiho is totally wrong here."
"Totally you, Sis."
"Enough of that."
Losing my patience, I dashed out of the living room.
"Wait, Miho--"
Mom called out for me to stop, but I ignored her, leaping up the creaky stairs. Swinging my room's door shut, I then tossed away my bag and threw myself onto the bed, half-dried uniform and all.
Idiot.
Idiot Idiot Idiot Idiot Idiot Idiot Idiot Idiot Idiot Idiot Idiot.
I'm such an idiot.
Why'd I even call Chiho an idiot?
She did go out to get the mail. She did help with the chores. Although they aren't hers, calling her an idiot just for opening envelopes was just too much.
"Aah, jeez..."
I'm so sickened by my own attitude right now. Why? Why am I so annoyed at every little thing lately? Is it because I can't decide on a future goal? Is it because I was being made fun of for being serious?
[A girl won't find happiness acting all serious like that.]
Chihiro's words repeated in my head.
"It's not like I want to find happiness..."
That's the rest of what I was not able to say earlier. All I want is...
I lifted myself up from bed. Through the window's open curtains, I cast my eyes upon the sea that encompasses the Five Islands.
The evening sun illuminated the Kendama Rock. Dad's ferry sailed through the strait between the Second and Third Islands, leaving behind a trail of white-crested waves like a brush. The weather is nice and clear, with outlines of large tankers being visible on the distant horizon.
--I want to go far away.
The thought welled up in the depths of my mind.
I've seen numerous ships off from this very window. Dad's ferry, fishing boat, and even fleets departing to the open sea. Is that the reason? The reason for my longing for a distant place? Somewhere that is not where I am, but further away. Further than that ship drawing a line on the water surface, than the birds crossing the islands, than the sun setting under the horizon, than any place I can see from this window. I've always wanted to go somewhere far away.
...That should be the case, anyway. But right now, I can't even choose one of the paths presented right in front of me. Where is it that I actually want to go?
"Gotta wash... my uniform--"
I took off my damp school vest and unzipped my skirt.
To think I'm still worrying about the cleanliness of my uniform at a time like this... Quite unpleasant, if I say so myself. Anyhow, I'll go apologize to Chiho after this-- That was what I decided on when...
"Sis!"
My room's door suddenly swung open.
"Sorry for reading your mail stuff earlier..."
It's Chiho. She's standing at the door, hanging her head down.
...It's because of Mom, for sure. Mom must have given Chiho a warning. And to think she's coming to apologize while still drying her tears... She's so praiseworthy that I could hug her right about now, but,
"Didn't I always tell you to knock first, you idiot!"
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