The Beginning - Miho - June [Part 7 of 7]
The next morning...
"Nhuh--? What's up, Miho? You're up way earlier than usual."
As I slid open the living room's door, Dad, who was about to spread the newspaper open on the dining table, looked up with an expression of surprise on his face.
"Ah, is it that-- You want to have breakfast with me, eh? I know you do, I know you do. He~y, Yukiko! Get some breakfast for Miho!"
As usual, Dad is jumping to conclusions without hearing what I have to say.
"You're up early today, Miho. Did something happen? Wait, don't tell me you couldn't sleep?"
Mom detected my abnormalities right when she came out of the kitchen. Without a moment's delay, I held out the color-printed pamphlet in my hands to her.
"Ah, this... The mail tutoring service thing? If you want to sign up, then sure, why not? Oh, by the way, Mayu-chan's Mother just called. Said Mayu-chan caught a cold and won't be going to school today. Did something happen yesterday?"
"......"
"Miho?"
As Mom looked at me right in the face, I gritted my teeth.
If I'm going to say it, I must start from the very beginning. If any other word were to come in between, I'd not be able to say it anymore. I can still feel the burning in my chest. I've waited till morning without sleep to avoid the risk of the heat fading away.
If I'm going to say it, I must start from the very beginning. Taking a deep breath, I visualized the faint ember which that boy had given to me bursting into a great fire.
"Mom. I wanna go to a University in Tokyo."
"Huh?"
Mom, about to turn over the pamphlet, stopped her hands.
"Tokyo?"
Dad, in the middle of stirring the miso soup, also stopped his hand.
"I want to go to a University in Tokyo, study language, go study abroad, and then someday, I'll find work overseas."
I was the only one who didn't stop.
"Wait, wait-- Hold it right there, Miho. You can't just bring that up all of a sudden."
Of course it's not sudden. I've been thinking about it all this time. I've always, always longed for it. But at the same time, I've feared it. It's not that I was not able to decide on a path for my future. Rather, I was too scared to make the decision. With all the serious front I put up, I was just scared, plain and simple.
"Please. Dad, Mom."
I want to go somewhere far away, too. Like Dad, and like they boy. I want to go as far as I can, with my own abilities, with all my strength.
"Sure, why not?"
Mom quietly folded the pamphlet.
"Hey, Yukiko--"
"No way. For real? You mean it, Mom?"
Mom smiled as I restlessly asked for her confirmation.
"But it has to be a public university, alright? We don't have the money for a private one."
"Yes--!"
I threw my hands up in the air and jumped in joy. Unbelievable. I thought Mom would be the first to object to it.
"Thank you! Dad, Mom!"
"Hold it, Miho. I still..."
"Yay! Ya~y!"
So this is what it feels like to get carried away... Right off the ground! Of course I couldn't keep myself grounded, not with me being this hyped up.
"Gah~~ So noisy~~"
But looks like I was a bit too excited there. Chiho walked in on us, still rubbing her eyes.
"Tokyo, Chiho! Your Big Sis is going to Tokyo!"
I took Chiho by her hands and exclaimed in an especially loud voice.
"Eh-- Right now? I'm going too!"
"Not now, of course. Now, go back to sleep."
"And you're the one who woke me up, Sis."
"Sorry, sorry. Now go on, kids should be sleeping~~"
I carried the drowsy Chiho's delicate frame in my arms, bringing back to her bedroom.
"Na~w, don't get into my futon!"
I slipped into the still-warm futon together with Chiho, who totally dislikes people getting in the same bed as her.
"Hey, Yukiko. You really think it's fine? It's Tokyo, you know. Tokyo. Do you even..."
While frolicking with my little sister in her futon, I could faintly hear Mom and Dad's voices coming from the living room. I raised a finger to keep Chiho quiet and strained my ears.
"What, you're saying that now? Didn't you leave dealing with Miho's worries up to me?"
"I know, I know... But still..."
"Now, you've gone all the way to the Indian Ocean. Don't make such a big fuss about going to just Tokyo."
When it's only those two together, Dad would always be the one losing to Mom in a conversation. Giggles leaked out of Chiho's lips which my finger sealed off.
"I knew she'd be saying something like that one of these days. She's so similar to you, after all."
Mom's voice of strained laughter entered my ears, filling up my chest with a feeling of determination. The resolute flame burns bright, singeing the edges of my heart.
"...Sis?"
Perhaps sensing something by intuition, Chiho held on to my wrist.
"Nhuh--? What's up, Miho? You're up way earlier than usual."
As I slid open the living room's door, Dad, who was about to spread the newspaper open on the dining table, looked up with an expression of surprise on his face.
"Ah, is it that-- You want to have breakfast with me, eh? I know you do, I know you do. He~y, Yukiko! Get some breakfast for Miho!"
As usual, Dad is jumping to conclusions without hearing what I have to say.
"You're up early today, Miho. Did something happen? Wait, don't tell me you couldn't sleep?"
Mom detected my abnormalities right when she came out of the kitchen. Without a moment's delay, I held out the color-printed pamphlet in my hands to her.
"Ah, this... The mail tutoring service thing? If you want to sign up, then sure, why not? Oh, by the way, Mayu-chan's Mother just called. Said Mayu-chan caught a cold and won't be going to school today. Did something happen yesterday?"
"......"
"Miho?"
As Mom looked at me right in the face, I gritted my teeth.
If I'm going to say it, I must start from the very beginning. If any other word were to come in between, I'd not be able to say it anymore. I can still feel the burning in my chest. I've waited till morning without sleep to avoid the risk of the heat fading away.
If I'm going to say it, I must start from the very beginning. Taking a deep breath, I visualized the faint ember which that boy had given to me bursting into a great fire.
"Mom. I wanna go to a University in Tokyo."
"Huh?"
Mom, about to turn over the pamphlet, stopped her hands.
"Tokyo?"
Dad, in the middle of stirring the miso soup, also stopped his hand.
"I want to go to a University in Tokyo, study language, go study abroad, and then someday, I'll find work overseas."
I was the only one who didn't stop.
"Wait, wait-- Hold it right there, Miho. You can't just bring that up all of a sudden."
Of course it's not sudden. I've been thinking about it all this time. I've always, always longed for it. But at the same time, I've feared it. It's not that I was not able to decide on a path for my future. Rather, I was too scared to make the decision. With all the serious front I put up, I was just scared, plain and simple.
"Please. Dad, Mom."
I want to go somewhere far away, too. Like Dad, and like they boy. I want to go as far as I can, with my own abilities, with all my strength.
"Sure, why not?"
Mom quietly folded the pamphlet.
"Hey, Yukiko--"
"No way. For real? You mean it, Mom?"
Mom smiled as I restlessly asked for her confirmation.
"But it has to be a public university, alright? We don't have the money for a private one."
"Yes--!"
I threw my hands up in the air and jumped in joy. Unbelievable. I thought Mom would be the first to object to it.
"Thank you! Dad, Mom!"
"Hold it, Miho. I still..."
"Yay! Ya~y!"
So this is what it feels like to get carried away... Right off the ground! Of course I couldn't keep myself grounded, not with me being this hyped up.
"Gah~~ So noisy~~"
But looks like I was a bit too excited there. Chiho walked in on us, still rubbing her eyes.
"Tokyo, Chiho! Your Big Sis is going to Tokyo!"
I took Chiho by her hands and exclaimed in an especially loud voice.
"Eh-- Right now? I'm going too!"
"Not now, of course. Now, go back to sleep."
"And you're the one who woke me up, Sis."
"Sorry, sorry. Now go on, kids should be sleeping~~"
I carried the drowsy Chiho's delicate frame in my arms, bringing back to her bedroom.
"Na~w, don't get into my futon!"
I slipped into the still-warm futon together with Chiho, who totally dislikes people getting in the same bed as her.
"Hey, Yukiko. You really think it's fine? It's Tokyo, you know. Tokyo. Do you even..."
While frolicking with my little sister in her futon, I could faintly hear Mom and Dad's voices coming from the living room. I raised a finger to keep Chiho quiet and strained my ears.
"What, you're saying that now? Didn't you leave dealing with Miho's worries up to me?"
"I know, I know... But still..."
"Now, you've gone all the way to the Indian Ocean. Don't make such a big fuss about going to just Tokyo."
When it's only those two together, Dad would always be the one losing to Mom in a conversation. Giggles leaked out of Chiho's lips which my finger sealed off.
"I knew she'd be saying something like that one of these days. She's so similar to you, after all."
Mom's voice of strained laughter entered my ears, filling up my chest with a feeling of determination. The resolute flame burns bright, singeing the edges of my heart.
"...Sis?"
Perhaps sensing something by intuition, Chiho held on to my wrist.
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